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Illustrations by Sam Taylor.

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Everything We Know About Human Bathroom Behavior

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One day, a year-old me walked into my favourite cubicle to drain the main vein there is no way you'd use a urinal in there, trust me and as soon as I started to flow, I heard a weird, gurgling sound that reminded me of the noise a dying animal might make.

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We were on a lads-on-tour holiday in New York a couple of years ago, and because we never normally do that sort of thing, we were making the most of it.

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